France, Arrogance, and Civility

The French have a reputation among English-speakers for being prickly about people speaking French. Forty years ago, I myself was once upbraided by a tobacconist for pronouncing my French Rs “in German,” as she put it, which was probably true since I had just spent a year studying German in Austria. Picky, picky, picky. But in my two months in Paris so far, I have never had a bad experience on this score. Both in Paris and on a recent trip to Normandy, everyone has been very kind. My wife, who is still learning French, has never had anyone be unkind, and as a result, she is increasingly willing to try speaking. Perhaps times have changed, or maybe this notion that the French are surly and critical of other people speaking French was never really true, just an exaggeration, a stereotype. And nowadays, especially in Paris, many people speak English quite well, at least well enough to offer service in restaurants and shops. Often, people will break into English when we speak in French.

Sign urging politeness

On the other hand, it is now Americans who are sometimes obnoxious. In a restaurant two days ago in Bayeux, the American lady at the table next to ours became impatient with the slower pace of service that is typical in French restaurants. She had ordered a cheese plate as her appetizer but did not finish all the cheeses, and had moved the platter to the side to try to indicate she was done. She then started calling out to the harried waitress to get her to clear the table. Calling out like that is not done in France, at least not in restaurants with white tablecloths. She made matters worse when started calling out “Scusi!,” which is the Italian word for “Excuse me” and means nothing in French. Ugly American, Exhibit A.

I just got back from the barber, and while I was in the chair getting my hair cut, I heard the door open and a lady speaking in American English with a young boy. She then said “Bonjour” in American-accented French, but to my surprise continued in English saying, “I need a haircut for my son.” The other barber, who was free at the moment, happened to know English and offered her an appointment for 4:00 or 6:30, and the exchange went off fine. After she left, I asked my barber, “Does it happen often that people come in and just start speaking in English like that?” He laughed, and said, “Oui! On est pas en Amérique, hein ? [Yes! (But) we’re not in America, right?]” Note that he’s not a French ethnonationalist; his name is Mohammed and he has just come back from Morocco. There is something arrogant and disrespectful about assuming that others speak your foreign language—even if English is now the world’s lingua franca. Mohammed said that his English is very poor, so it is a good thing his colleague was there to handle the situation.

Commuter train, with poster

Paris is a very civilized city. They work at it, with very good public services (even though the French complain about them all the time) and campaigns encouraging civil behavior (The poster above says "There are those who remain polite, even if they are irritated... and then there are the others."). When out walking or in museums and restaurants, it is common for me to hear American English spoken more loudly than French. I hear it in part because it’s my native language, so it pierces through the noise, but also because Americans do speak loudly, at least more loudly than the French. On subways and trains in Paris, there is no loud talking. So civilized.